As Autumn settles in it is time to treat yourself with compassion. Be conscious this is the season to be gentle, and wrap yourself with TLC. If you are someone who is constantly there for everyone else, now is the time to turn that caring inwards and say ‘no’ to others. It is only by first caring for your own needs that you can adequately care for those around you. Although we all know that self care is so important it can be difficult to know how to start. Self care begins with self love. Self love has nothing to do with being selfish. It is about attending to your needs not about putting yourself before others. It is a vital step on the pathway to Soul Empowered Wellness.
If you wish to grow in consciousness and walk a path of integrity and authentic power one of the most fundamental steps is to attend to your self-care.It all begins with self-love, the simple act of honouring yourself with kindness and respect. It requires you tune into your body, your emotions, your mind and your soul and attend to what it is you really need and desire.
Silence Your Inner Critic
In order to care for ourselves we must first recognise and banish the inner critic. That inner ‘mean girl’, ‘critic’, ‘judge’, ‘saboteur’ or whatever you call it, (I call mine ‘The Committee’) serves us at certain times in our life. But at others it undermines our dreams. This is that voice that always casts doubt on what your inspiration, your actions or even just you.
There are times in our life we really need that inner voice. It is the voice of caution that pops up to keep us safe. But it is also the voice that keeps us small, limited, and unfulfilled. And in the interests of self-care it is at these times that you need to reclaim the control to direct your own life. When you don’t do this your inner voice will keep you restricted with old stories and belief systems that don’t support your personal growth.
The second part to the process is to attend to your needs. A lot of people think this is about pampering but it is much more. While pampering can be a part of self-care it’s not the crux. At its centre self care is about tuning in to your body, emotions, mind and spirit and addressing what it is you need on all these levels.
It can be hard to know how to begin the process of self care. Here are a few suggestions.
Guide To Self Care
1. Shut Down Your Inner Mean Voice
I began the process of self-care by dealing with the voice of my ‘Inner Committee’. The very first step was to recognise it when it very first showed up and stop it dead. I used strong language first and then spoke back to it. I reminded it that I was the driver on our life journey; that it was welcome to come along for the ride, but I was in charge. Suprisingly, it didn’t take long to stop the limiting criticism and was incredibly liberating.
Start by noticing when it speaks up and takes over, and right at the beginning silence it with a simple ‘no’ or ‘stop’.
2. Accept The Whole You
Accepting who you are in your entirity can be challenging but is vital to you becoming whole. It’s about loving yourself exactly as you are, flaws and all. It is about accepting your negative thoughts and those parts of yourself that you’d rather others never knew existed. And it’s about recognising that that the aspects of yourself you may consider negative are often the very ones that are related to caring for your deepest needs.
Many people walking the spiritual path have been sabotaged by certain new age ideas. These teach that we must always be positive and vibrate high. But natural laws dictate that nothing can exist in such polarity. Everything must be balanced by its opposite – hot with cold, light with dark, masculine with feminine, spirit with matter.
And so it is with all things in the natural world, including our own personal light and shadow. When we try to vibrate high we become completely out of balance and unwell. Often your shadow aspects are the very things that protect you and address your needs. It’s not about trying to change yourself and become better, but about acknowledging, accepting and integrating all parts of yourself. This is how you become whole.
3. Acknowledge Your Individuality
You are you. Comparing yourself with others – your family, friends, celebrities anyone – keeps you small. It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself and your life with others. Scrolling social media can leave you feeling worthless when you play the comparison game.
Every person has their own journey in life. Each is unique. Every journey and every life story is special, individual and valuable. When you forget this and begin to compare yourself to others you immediately sabotage your self care. You don’t need to compare yourself to anyone, own your individuality and unique qualities.
4. Own Your Space
Very simply, you are worthy. You deserve to be here and you deserve your share of the amazing abundance of this universe. You deserve to take up and own your space in this world and to enjoy the gifts it offers. It is not your role to belittle yourself, to hold yourself back and to deny yourself.
Remind yourself you don’t need any permission to claim what your heart desires. Because this is your right. Claiming it shows yourself love and respect and encourages others to also show you love and respect.
5. Perfect Ain’t Possible
Sometimes we forget that perfection is an unattainable goal. We push and push ourselves, never taking credit for our personal qualities and achievements. We are constantly in judgement of ourselves. And we open the door for the inner critic to take control once again and criticise what we do and who we are.
“When perfectionism is driving us, shame is riding shotgun
and fear is that annoying backseat driver.”
~ Brene Brown
Self care is a crucial factor in your quest for Soul Empowered Wellness. As long as you continue to make yourself less than you are, and less than you deserve, you can never find the harmony and balance of Wholeness of body, emotions, mind and spirit.
All information and opinions presented here are for information purposes only and are not intended as a substitute for professional advice offered during a consultation with your health care provider. Do not use this article to diagnose a health condition. Speak to your doctor if you think your condition may be serious or before discontinuing any prescribed medication. Please consult with your health care provider before following any of the treatment suggested on this site, particularly if you have an ongoing health issue.